Naruto Meets Chuck
by czgohan
Summary: Naruto themed Chuck Norris Jokes/please read review see better explanation inside
1. Chapter 1

Note: Ok this is an idea a friend of mine gave me, he said, "why don't you make Chuck Norris jokes with Naruto stuff?" so here are a few of them if you like send me some by pm and I can post in next time giving you full credit

There are only three things that can kill the black Amaterasu flame, the Uchiha who cast it, a powerful seal or Chuck Norris peeing on it.

Chuck Norris can remove a Demon from its host with out killing the Jinchuriki; it's too bad chuck Norris never leaves survivors.

Uchiha Itachi once had a staring contest with Chuck Norris, and Itachi's eyes began to bleed.

Chuck Norris can survive the Reaper Death seal. The Shinigami swallowed him once, not has one hell of a hole in his gut.


	2. Chapter 2

The following jokes are not my own, the names of the people who gave them are listed below. If you have any more let me know I am still trying to come up with some more worthy of Mr. Norris.

The following facts are given by LindAmy Fanfiction id is 1266710

Byakugan can't see trough everything, because it's no chance it can see trough Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is the only one who hasn't become blind after seeing Maito Gai smiling in full force

The yondaime hokage didn't seal the Kyuubi in Naruto. Chuck Norris just walked by and the Kyuubi jumped in Naruto's belly out of fear.

Who the Hokage will be is decided if the person can survive a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. In only 1/100 of it's power of course.

Akatsuki is collecting the bijuu's to have power enough to attack Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't care, they wouldn't win either way.

The bijuu's were Chuck Norris pets, which he abandoned because they weren't badass enough.

The following facts are given by megi52 Fanfiction id is 1349426

Chuck Norris can escape the Mangekyo Sharingan.

Chuck Norris can use all the elements and some unknown to man.

Itachi didn't really kill the entire Uchiha clan Chuck Norris did.

The only level higher than sannin is...Chuck Norris


	3. Chapter 3

The following jokes are not mine, and to be honest in my opinion some are pretty good, others not so much. Still, I haven't updated recently on this like joke fic, and maybe I can get a few new ones suggested, such as the following:

(NOTE: I have edited the following up, and when you see words in brackets (for example) that is an addition of mine.)

By TheAuthorofTime:

The Sharingan can't predict everything. No one can predict Chuck Norris's next move.

By Haku1013:

Ninjas only exist because Chuck Norris decided to kill the pirates instead.

Chuck Norris can beat Shikamaru in chess with one move. (A round house kick to the head takes your king.)

By Sexybeast1500:

Minato Namikaze isn't Naruto's father, Chuck Norris is.

Naruto once challenged Chuck Norris to a ramen eating contest and after three weeks of eating ramen non stop chuck Norris won and still had more then enough energy to have sex with Ayame.

Chuck Norris can blind Maito Guy and Rock Lee when he smiles.

The Byakugan has the ability to see 359 degrees and a hundred yards away, chuck Norris can see 360 degrees and a million yards away.

Asuma didn't impregnate Kurenai, Chuck Norris did.

Chuck Norris can kill a bijuu; it's too bad he won't do it since he says they're too weak.

By Anakin Mario Son43:

The Uchiha clan or Kyuubi didn't make the Sharingan, Chuck Norris did!

Note: so please, if you have any others I'd love to hear them. PM me or leave review thanks. I hope you got a laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

I came up with a few Chuck Norris facts, the following two are mine, the ones after that are others contribution whom I have named.

Hiashi did not save Hinata from the kidnapping attempt by killing the cloud nin, Chuck Norris did…Kumo just did not have the balls to even consider asking for the body of the real killer, not that it would have done them any good.

Chuck Norris once asked Naruto to trim his beard; the Rasen-shuriken never stood a chance.

The following facts are courtesy of Guy With 1000 Names:

Tsunade and Hinata both got boob jobs to impress Chuck Norris; they're still too flat for him.

Chuck Norris don't need to cut himself to summon, he just shouts 'GAMABUNTA, MANDA(etc.) GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!'

Don't even think about trying to steal even a piece of bacon from Chuck Norris;(sigh) the things Danzo could tell you.

Chuck Norris backhanded Kishimoto in mental incompetence, hence why the manga sux now. (Note form czgohan, this is a matter of opinion, i happen to still like it)

The following facts are courtesy of Fallen-Ryu:

The Juubi wasn't beaten by the sage of six paths...it was Chuck Norris when he was sleep walking...and the demon jumped into him out of fear and cast itself inside the moon to hide from him...to bad Chuck Norris can jump high enough to the center of the galaxy and back without so much as blinking!

The bijuu weren't made by the sage of six paths...they were made from Chuck Norris when he decided to take a bath...in molten lava of course!

And it wasn't the Yondaime that was nicknamed the yellow flash...it was Chuck Norris when he took up running...and broke the light barriers until yellow light was left in the area.

The following facts are courtesyDeltabeta26:

The Naruto series was saved from being cancelled due to angry fans because Chuck Norris personally round house kicked with a millionth of its power Naruto and said "quit your bitchin."

There is only one proven way to hit Madara Uchiha, a Chuck Norris brand round house kick.

Hashirama Senju didn't create the forests in fire country Chuck Norris did.

In the bingo book every nation has an S-class ranking for him and a "you're gonna die if you see him" warning if a ninja should ever encounter. . . . . . . Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is so badass that his nickname in the bingo book is " Chuck Norris."

Pein had the power to make a moon, Chuck Norris has the power to round house kick Pein.

Madara Uchiha once used amaterasu on Chuck Norris and seven days and seven nights later he came back to find Chuck Norris wearing it like a coat. . . .followed by a round house kick to the face.

The rikudo sennin didn't defeat the Juubi seal it inside himself and then seal it in the moon Chuck Norris said "get in the f#cking moon". . . .and it did

Hidan is immortal Chuck Norris killed him

Naruto once yelled believe it while Chuck Norris was walking by and Chuck Norris walked up to him said "no" . . . . then round house kicked him in the face.

Kyuubi didn't make Naruto's whiskers Naruto went to the carnival face painter stand while Chuck Norris was working there.

The fourth Hokage's hiraishin no jutsu is scientifically proven to be nine hundred nintey-nine billion times slower than Chuck Norris while he's sleeping.

Zabuza is known as "a" master of silent killing Chuck Norris is know as "the" master of the round house kick.

One of the ninja's Chuck Norris round house kicked became the sage of six paths.

The emperor of the elemental nations is the guy who is the assistant to the guy who is the assistant to the dry cleaner that Chuck Norris goes too to wash his socks. . .

The following fact is courtesy of I always wanted to post a fic:

Hidan worships Jashin. Jashin worships Chuck Norris, the true god of pain.

The following facts are courtesy of Shekiah Rosay:

Shikamaru actually doesn't find Chuck Norris troublesome. Chuck finds SHIKAMARU troublesome.

Orochimaru's neck stretches so long because Chuck Norris once uppercut him in a bar fight.

Haku and Deidara aren't naturally effeminate. They met Chuck Norris and decided even dressing or acting like a man was pointless in the face of such beastly manhood.

That's what I got so far, hope you liked it.


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